Mark Twain Quotes, Real Quotes, Names Quotes

We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Names Quotes

when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Race Quotes

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Hot Quotes

We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Relationship Quotes , Children Quotes

As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all sins, take them in rotation (there are only two or three thousand of them), stick to it, commit two or three every day, and by and by you will be proof against them. When you are through you will be proof against all sins and morally perfect. You will be vaccinated against every possible commission of them. This is the only way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Fire Quotes

There are two reasons why anybody buys anything. The real reason, and the reason they give you.

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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Running Quotes

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Whatever thing men call great, look for it in Joan of Arc, and there you will find it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Looks Quotes

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

A journalist is a reporter out of a job.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Journalist Quotes

It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Stars Quotes , Sky Quotes

Never tell a lie-except for practice.

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The primary rule of business success is loyalty to your employer. That's all right as a theory. What is the matter with loyalty to yourself?

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To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth. As long as one sorely needs a certain additional amount, that man isn't rich.

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A man who chooses not to read is just as ignorant as a man who cannot read.

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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.

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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is very wearing to be good.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Years Quotes

Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Youth Quotes