Mark Twain Quotes, Witty Quotes, Humorous Quotes

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grateful Quotes , Long Quotes

The water is clearer than the air, and the air is the air that angels breathe.

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Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Popularity Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An inglorious peace is better than a dishonorable war.

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The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Challenges Quotes , Ability Quotes

What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Years Quotes

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

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The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there's no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grieving Quotes , Knowing Quotes

Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

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If it would not look too much like showing off, I would tell the reader where New Zealand is.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Looks Quotes , Too Much Quotes

Preachers are always pleasant company when they are off duty.

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If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes, but I hadn't any clothes on, and didn't mind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Mind Quotes

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Optimistic Quotes , Race Quotes

It is not best to use our morals weekdays, it gets them out of repair for Sunday.

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There is no such thing as an ordinary life.

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Don't wait the time is never just right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes