Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eight Quotes , Weather Quotes

An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth a fact that is recognized by the law of libel .

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Law Quotes

I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours.

6 years ago

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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Men Quotes

We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Luxury Quotes , People Quotes

The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Exercise Quotes

Man - a figment of God's imagination.

6 years ago

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It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , New Orleans Quotes

To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence, is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself...Anybody can have ideas--the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Light Quotes

You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

6 years ago

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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Purring Quotes

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

6 years ago

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...fry me an optimist for breakfast.

6 years ago

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Indeed, none but the Deity can tell what is good luck and what is bad before the returns are all in.

6 years ago

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Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

6 years ago

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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.

6 years ago

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There is no other life; life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Powerful Quotes

It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Benefits Quotes