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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Food Quotes
- Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son the hardships that made him rich.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Everything in moderation, including moderation.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Biography lends to death a new terror.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes
- The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes