T. S. Eliot Quotes, Funny Quotes, Work Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Health Quotes

A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

This past Thanksgiving, my father was at the farm, and I had all 11 dogs in the house with a father who never allowed dogs in the house. And he got up to leave the table and came back and Solomon was in his chair. And he says, "This dog is in my chair." And I said, "It's the other way around, you're sitting in his chair."

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

What I tell you three times is true.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes