George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Dream Quotes

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal.

5 years ago

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

A jury too often has at least one member more ready to hang the panel than to hang the traitor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Forever Quotes

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Use It Or Lose It Quotes

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes