Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Farewell, fair cruelty.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

5 years ago

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes