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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
- There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.
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Tags : James Joyce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes
- Farewell, fair cruelty.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- ... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge.
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.
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Tags : A. R. Gurney Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes
- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes