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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes
- One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- My toughest fight was with my first wife.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- I hate women because they always know where things are.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes
- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Hatred is blind, as well as love.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes