Honore De Balzac Quotes, Funny Quotes, Dog Quotes

He's got his dog trained so that it only does it on newspapers. The trouble is it does it when he's reading the blasted things.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

But you shall not escape my iambics.

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Tags : Catullus Quotes , Funny Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill allow me to call him so' you vill understand, sir, that that means, 'if he vill allow me to keep up that 'ere pleasant and uniwersal fiction.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religion Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes