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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge.
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Sunshine is my quest.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes
- If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jail Quotes
- True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.
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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes
- My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols or bombs without incurring any penalties.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes