Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes, Funny Quotes, Government Quotes

Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Farewell, fair cruelty.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Biography lends to death a new terror.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes