A. J. Liebling Quotes, Funny Quotes, Media Control Quotes

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

All art is quite useless.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Only the shallow know themselves.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Prayer Quotes