Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Time Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

What I tell you three times is true.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Sanity is very rare; every man almost and every woman has a dash of madness.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes