Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Drinking Quotes

Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work's the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Use It Or Lose It Quotes

You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes