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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot
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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes
- Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jail Quotes
- Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girlfriend Quotes
- I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.
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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.
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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I think war is a dangerous place.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
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Tags : Adi Da Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes