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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes
- The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.
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Tags : Al Neuharth Quotes , Funny Quotes , Attitude Quotes
- If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Failure Quotes
- All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes
- "Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- "Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Everything in moderation, including moderation.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- He would make a lovely corpse.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes