Jane Austen Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sorry Quotes

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nba Quotes

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

Most people's major life changes don't come from reading an article in the newspaper; they come from reading longer-form essays or thoughtful books, which are much more convincing and detailed.

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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Blue Quotes

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes