Oscar Wilde Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Gay Quotes

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

5 years ago

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

5 years ago

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes

We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves

5 years ago

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nba Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

5 years ago

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes