Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

No man knows he is young while he is young.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?

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Tags : Alain de Botton Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Witty Quotes

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Witty Quotes , Atheist Quotes

Nobody thanks a witty man for politeness when he puts himself on a par with a society in which it would not be polite to show one's wit.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Witty Quotes , Men Quotes

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Witty Quotes , Night Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Human blunders usually do more to shape history than human wickedness.

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Tags : A. J. P. Taylor Quotes , Witty Quotes , War Quotes

One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Witty Quotes , Heart Quotes

A witty saying proves nothing.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Witty Quotes

I knew a witty physician who found theology in the biliary duct, and used to affirm that if there was a disease in the liver, the man became a Calvinist, and if that organ was sound, he became a Unitarian.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Witty Quotes , Men Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Witty Quotes , Nature Quotes

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Witty Quotes , Government Quotes

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Witty Quotes , Airports Quotes

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Thanksgiving Quotes , Witty Quotes

The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Witty Quotes , Silence Quotes