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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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- MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
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- resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
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- A man is known by the company he organizes.
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- What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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- A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.
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- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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- Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
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- Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
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- MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
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- Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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- Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire
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- INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
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- PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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- A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
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- HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
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- Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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