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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Demand Quotes , Answers Quotes
- GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.
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- Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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- MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
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- One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
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- A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.
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- UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
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- Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
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- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes
- As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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- What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.
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- ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."
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- LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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- FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
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- A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Example Quotes , Teeth Quotes
- PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
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- PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
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- Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.
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- REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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- OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ostriches Quotes , Wings Quotes