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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.
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- Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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- Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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- OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser "triumph."
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- An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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- Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.
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- When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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- Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
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- OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.
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- A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner, I wish you to create something that would justify them. The world is all created,said God, but you have overlooked something
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- HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
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- A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.
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- Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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- Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
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- A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.
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- Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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- OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
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- AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
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- Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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- Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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