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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.
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- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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- IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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- Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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- A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.
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- Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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- Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
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- ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
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- Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
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- PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.
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- A lottery is a tax on stupidity.
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- Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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- Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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- QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.
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- To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
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- Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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- If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
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- He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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- Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
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