Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Food Quotes, Cereal Quotes

WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cereal Quotes

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , School Quotes

OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Confusion Quotes , Confusing Quotes

Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

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resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.

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Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.

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BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Writing Quotes

Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Ears Quotes

A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Believe Quotes

REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Truth Quotes

REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dream Quotes , Philosophy Quotes

CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Horse Quotes

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.

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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

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PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Blood Quotes

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

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EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Fool Quotes