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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
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- Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
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- PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
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- INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
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- CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."
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- PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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- To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
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- PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
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- Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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- Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
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- You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
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- ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.
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- MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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- An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- A lottery is a tax on stupidity.
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- JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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- A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
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- Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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