Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Country Quotes, Thinking Quotes

Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

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Advice, the smallest current coin.

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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

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JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Utterance Quotes

RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Exercise Quotes , Republic Quotes

LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

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Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Passion Quotes , Soul Quotes

Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.

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Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.

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Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Independent Quotes , Abnormal Quotes

MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.

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CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.

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DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

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Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.

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Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.

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NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

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