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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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- AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
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- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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- Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.
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- QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.
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- The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
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- Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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- An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
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- RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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- Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.
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- Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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- One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
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- Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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- Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
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- NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.
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- A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.
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- ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
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- Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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- Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.
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- Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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