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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Smell Quotes
- DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.
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- It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
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- Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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- PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
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- CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
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- Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
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- Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.
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- Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
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- Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.
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- DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters.
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- Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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- MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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- Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
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- RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.
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- MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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- CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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- BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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- STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.
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