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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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- THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.
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- TRUCE, n. Friendship.
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- Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
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- J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, "jacere", "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.
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- DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.
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- Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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- RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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- REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
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- Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
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- OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.
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- RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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- Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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- The god of the world's leading religion.
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- SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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- OBSTINATE, adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.
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- MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
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- ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."
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- IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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