Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Government Quotes, Democracy Quotes

Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

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Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

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Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

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PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.

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UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

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There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.

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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

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IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.

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MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

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MONOSYLLABIC, adj. Composed of words of one syllable . . . Commonly Saxon - that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.

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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser "triumph."

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Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.

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TRUCE, n. Friendship.

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RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

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