Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Evil Quotes, Bears Quotes

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

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RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Player Quotes , Politics Quotes

POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Leader Quotes

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Religious Quotes

A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

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Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Sitting Quotes

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

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MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

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NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

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Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Mistake Quotes

Riven and torn with cannon-shot, the trunks of the trees protruded bunches of splinters like hands, the fingers above the wound interlacing with those below.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hands Quotes , Tree Quotes

LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.

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Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

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Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

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