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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
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- DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
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- REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
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- A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.
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- An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
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- Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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- Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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- MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
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- EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.
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- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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- Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.
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- Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
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- Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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- In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
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- Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire
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- PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.
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- MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration.
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- APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.
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- CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
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- MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
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