Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Beauty Quotes, Beautiful Quotes

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

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PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.

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KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

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Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

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SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

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Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.

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HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

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TECHNICALITY, n. In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having accused his neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one side of the head fell upon one shoulder and the other side upon the other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder, for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an inference.

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When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet.

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Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'

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APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism. "The Mad Philosopher," 1697

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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.

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PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

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Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

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Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.

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