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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
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- Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
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- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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- NOVEL, n. A short story padded.
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- Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
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- Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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- EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.
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- No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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- Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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- God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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- Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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- IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
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- UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
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- A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
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- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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- Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.
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- LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.
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- renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.
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- CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.
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