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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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- Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
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- PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
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- PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
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- Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
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- Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
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- OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
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- Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
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- moral, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.
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- PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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- Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
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- mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.
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- Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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- A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
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- CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.
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- PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.
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- DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
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- Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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- Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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- A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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