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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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- Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.
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- Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
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- OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.
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- IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.
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- PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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- QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.
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- The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
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- Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
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- Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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- LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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- He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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- Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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- San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen
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- RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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- CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain.
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- Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.
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- Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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- Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.
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