Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Women Quotes, Tree Quotes

LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Women Quotes , Tree Quotes

TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mean Quotes , Men Quotes

RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Trust Quotes , Envy Quotes

TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dumb Quotes , Truthful Quotes

Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Teenage Quotes

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Spring Quotes , Tree Quotes

Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Hope Quotes , Country Quotes

Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Powerful Quotes , Hatred Quotes

A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Growth Quotes , Definitions Quotes

WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Character Quotes , Wrath Quotes

RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Military Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Enough Quotes

The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mean Quotes , Pride Quotes

REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Republic Quotes , Obedience Quotes

PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Courage Quotes , Military Quotes

The covers of this book are too far apart.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , God Quotes

A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Soul Quotes , Atheism Quotes