Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wise Quotes, Writing Quotes

A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

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REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

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RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".

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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

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Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

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CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.

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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

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ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

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Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

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LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

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Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.

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Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.

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A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.

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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Philosophy Quotes , Ancient Quotes