Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Stories Quotes, Narrative Quotes

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.

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Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

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Happiness has not to all the same name: to Youth she is known as the Future; Age knows her as the Dream.

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Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery.

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Riven and torn with cannon-shot, the trunks of the trees protruded bunches of splinters like hands, the fingers above the wound interlacing with those below.

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Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.

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MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

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ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Long Quotes

LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.

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An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

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MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

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POVERTY, n. A file provided for the teeth of the rats of reform. Its victims are distinguished by possession of all the virtues and by their faith in leaders seeking to conduct them into a prosperity where they believe these to be unknown.

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Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

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Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

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