Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Time Quotes, Lying Quotes

Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

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Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

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A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

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ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

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PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Suicide Quotes

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

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Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.

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COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.

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SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.

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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

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Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Political Quotes , Black Quotes