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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
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- The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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- TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics.
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- Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
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- COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.
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- Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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- TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
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- ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
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- Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
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- PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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- DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
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- Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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- The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
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- WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .
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- A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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- WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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- ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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- If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.
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- picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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