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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
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- DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
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- NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
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- The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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- Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'
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- Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
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- MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
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- Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
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- Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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- POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.
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- DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
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- TRUCE, n. Friendship.
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- SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.
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- art, n. This word has no definition.
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- PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
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- HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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- Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.
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- HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.
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- The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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- PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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