Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Tears Quotes, Plus Quotes

PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

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repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.

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YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

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There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

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WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

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GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.

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PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

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RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

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CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.

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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

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GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

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Noise: a stench in the ear.

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REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.

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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

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aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.

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The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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TRUCE, n. Friendship.

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