Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Food Quotes, Cooking Quotes

MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Animal Quotes

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Party Quotes , Grandmother Quotes

SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Punishment Quotes

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. 'I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner,' said Brillat-Savarin, beginning an anecdote. 'What!' interrupted Rochebriant; 'eating dinner in a drawing-room?' 'I must beg you to observe, monsieur,' explained the great gastronome, 'that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but enjoying it. I had dined an hour before.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Drawing Quotes

RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Virtue Quotes

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Native American Quotes , Humor Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Important Quotes , Existence Quotes

A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Kings Quotes

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sex Quotes , Science Quotes

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Agency Quotes , Civilized Nations Quotes

repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Repose Quotes

OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Confusion Quotes , Confusing Quotes

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Science Quotes

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Color Quotes

The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes