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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
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- RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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- The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.
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- DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.
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- Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
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- Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
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- ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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- The god of the world's leading religion.
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- An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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- If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.
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- Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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- WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
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- Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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- A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
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- FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
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- Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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- Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
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- CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.
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- ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.
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- Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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