Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Hunger Quotes, Instinct Quotes

Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

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HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

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NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Believe Quotes , Preparation Quotes

GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

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RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.

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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

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Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.

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Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Islands Quotes , Savages Quotes

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

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Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

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RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

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Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

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LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the emotional side of human nature, calls it "our hepaticall parte." It was at one time considered the seat of life; hence its name- liver, the thing we live with.

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Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

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REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.

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EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.

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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

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MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

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COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

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