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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.
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- You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
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- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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- He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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- WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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- RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.
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- OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.
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- EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.
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- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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- An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
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- CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?
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- REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
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- Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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- The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
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- OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
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- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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- A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
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- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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- What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
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- Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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