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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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- adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.
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- SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.
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- Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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- INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
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- MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
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- PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
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- Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.
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- PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
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- FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.
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- Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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- Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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- The money-getter who pleads his love of work has a lame defense, for love of work at money-getting is a lower taste than love of money.
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- REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.
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- A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.
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- pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
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- HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.
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- Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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