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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
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- DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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- Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
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- Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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- Congratulations is the civility of envy.
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- Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.
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- Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.
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- When in Rome, do as Rome does.
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- VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
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- When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection; thine own is open at thy feet.
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- COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.
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- Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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- HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that
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- ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.
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- TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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- J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, "jacere", "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.
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- An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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- PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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