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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
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- Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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- Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
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- ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
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- The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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- RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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- PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
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- KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
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- HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
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- EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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- NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.
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- ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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- April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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- Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
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- IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.
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- OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground.
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- MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
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- Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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- EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
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- critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
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