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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Native American Quotes , Humor Quotes
- RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rain Quotes , Fall Quotes
- Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Skeletons Quotes , Dancing Quotes
- Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Neighbor Quotes
- MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Moving Quotes
- LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Bird Quotes
- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Quotes
- As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , School Quotes , Ignorance Quotes
- A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wise Quotes , Writing Quotes
- MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes
- Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Spring Quotes , Believe Quotes
- An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Long Quotes , Doe Quotes
- EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes
- Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Patriotism Quotes , Fever Quotes
- Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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- A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement.
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- EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Fool Quotes
- Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Errors Quotes
- PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes
- Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Buckets Quotes , Pool Quotes