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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- The creator and arbiter of beauty is the heart; to the male rattlesnake the female rattlesnake is the loveliest thing in nature.
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- REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.
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- When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
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- Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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- POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
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- Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
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- CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.
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- IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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- IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.
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- CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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- Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
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- A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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- BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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- Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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- ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
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- I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.
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- ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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- MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
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- COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.
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- Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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