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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes
- I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes
- I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Emotional Quotes
- The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes
- If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes
- California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Fall Quotes , School Quotes
- Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Air Quotes , Stories Quotes
- When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Basketball Quotes , Brother Quotes
- I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes
- That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes
- All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes
- Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Names Quotes
- When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes
- I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Television Quotes , Radio Quotes
- I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Realist Quotes
- People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dream Quotes , People Quotes
- If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes
- All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I get depressed at airports.
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