Adam Carolla Quotes, Bridges Quotes, Done Quotes

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Bridges Quotes , Done Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Joy Quotes

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Basketball Quotes , Brother Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , People Quotes

The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes

I am not a good cue card reader.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Women Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , July Quotes

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Army Quotes , Government Quotes