Adam Carolla Quotes, Years Quotes, Age Quotes

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

5 years ago

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I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Ill Will Quotes , Office Quotes

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Life Is Quotes

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

5 years ago

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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

5 years ago

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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

5 years ago

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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

5 years ago

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

5 years ago

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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christmas Quotes , Dad Quotes

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mom Quotes , Kind Quotes

I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

5 years ago

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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

5 years ago

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Don’t do your best, do my best.

5 years ago

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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

5 years ago

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Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

5 years ago

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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes