Mark Twain Quotes, German Language Quotes, Awful Quotes

In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , German Language Quotes , Awful Quotes

When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Miles Quotes

As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all sins, take them in rotation (there are only two or three thousand of them), stick to it, commit two or three every day, and by and by you will be proof against them. When you are through you will be proof against all sins and morally perfect. You will be vaccinated against every possible commission of them. This is the only way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Fire Quotes

Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Book Quotes

As one boy said, 'I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they're all that bad, how come I'm so wonderful'

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Man proposes, but God blocks the game.

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I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Men Quotes

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Inspirational Quotes

Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Race Quotes

Labor in loneliness is irksome.

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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Society Quotes

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Effort Quotes

The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , Fiction Quotes

You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Love Is Quotes

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Tree Quotes

Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heaven Quotes , Religion Quotes

Good wine needs no bush; a jug is the thing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wine Quotes , Jugs Quotes

If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kentucky Quotes , Years Quotes