Mark Twain Quotes, Liars Quotes, Two Quotes

There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Two Quotes

Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Music Quotes , Men Quotes

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Taxes Quotes

Darwin abolished special creations, contributed the Origin of Species and hitched all life together in one unbroken procession of Siamese Twins, the whole evolved by natural and orderly processes from one microscopic parent germ.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Science Quotes

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Fragrance Quotes

The bane of Americans is overwork-and the ruin of any work is a divided interest. Concentrate-concentrate. One thing at a time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Ruins Quotes

The Mississippi River towns are comely, clean, well built, and pleasing to the eye, and cheering to the spirit. The Mississippi Valley is as reposeful as a dreamland, nothing worldly about it . . . nothing to hang a fret or a worry upon.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cheer Quotes , Eye Quotes

A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bears Quotes , Dozen Quotes

Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Awful Quotes , Huckleberry Quotes

In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Night Quotes , Race Quotes

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Educated Quotes

It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you. And it is unsatisfactory to read to one's self anyhow - for the uttered voice so heightens the expression.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Quotes , Expression Quotes

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Calling Quotes

It is easy to see that the inventor of the heaven did not originate the idea, but copied it from the show-ceremonies of some sorry little sovereign State up in the back settlements of the Orient somewhere.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Ideas Quotes

If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value.

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Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

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Happiness ain't a thing in itself - it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Contrast Quotes

I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pride Quotes , Thinking Quotes