Mark Twain Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Cities Quotes

Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Cities Quotes

Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Virtue Quotes

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Hair Quotes

I have no liking for novels or stories - none in the world; and so, whenever I read one - which is not oftener than once in two years, and even in these same cases I seldom read beyond the middle of the book - my distaste for the vehicle always taints my judgment of the literature itself, as a matter of course; and also of course makes my verdict valuless. Are you saying "You have written stories yourself." Quite true: but the fact that an Indian likes to scalp people is no evidence that he likes to be scalped.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Reading Quotes

Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest, there being no such thing as free will in the composition of any human being that ever lived.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Men Quotes

It is yet another Civilized Power, with its banner of the Prince of Peace in one hand and its loot-basket and its butcher-knife in the other. Is there no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level?.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knives Quotes , Civilization Quotes

Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Children Quotes

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , 4th Of July Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Home Quotes

What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , School Quotes

To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Sheep Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

No man has an appreciation so various that his judgment is good upon all varieties of literary work.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Appreciation Quotes , Men Quotes

You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Praying Quotes

We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Luxury Quotes , People Quotes

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Book Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her full confidence again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Misuse Quotes

Written things are not for speech; their form is literary; they are stiff, inflexible, and will not lend themselves to happy and effective delivery with the tongue-where their purpose is to merely entertain, not instruct; they have to be limbered up, broken up, colloquialized and turned into common forms of premeditated talk-otherwise they will bore the house and not entertain it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Broken Quotes , House Quotes