Mark Twain Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Eclipse Of The Sun Quotes

An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.

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A man may have no bad habits and have worse

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , May Quotes

Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Tragedy Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Too Much Quotes

Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Government Quotes

If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Stars Quotes

It's a good thing for a dog to have fleas; keeps his mind off being a dog.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Mind Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

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Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Science Quotes

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Men Quotes

It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Mind Quotes

As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all sins, take them in rotation (there are only two or three thousand of them), stick to it, commit two or three every day, and by and by you will be proof against them. When you are through you will be proof against all sins and morally perfect. You will be vaccinated against every possible commission of them. This is the only way.

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Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable.

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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Humor Quotes

A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Powerful Quotes

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Positivity Quotes

No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Insanity Quotes