Mark Twain Quotes, Time Quotes, Smoking Quotes

More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Smoking Quotes

Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Business Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Appreciated Quotes

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Taxes Quotes

The secret to success: find out where people are going and get there first

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Success Quotes , People Quotes

Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tired Quotes , Might Quotes

Always obey your parents - when they are present.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Stars Quotes

Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

A healthy and wholesome cheerfulness is not necessarily impossible to any occupation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Healthy Quotes , Occupation Quotes

Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest, there being no such thing as free will in the composition of any human being that ever lived.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Men Quotes

I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Given Quotes

Everything human is pathetic

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humans Quotes

No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Men Quotes

It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Play Quotes

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Men Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Thinking Quotes

There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Civilization Quotes