Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sports Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Home Quotes

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Man is the only animal that deals in that atorcity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Animal Quotes

Ours is the "land of the free"-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)

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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

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There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Sports Quotes

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

6 years ago

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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.

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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Autumn Quotes

We are all alike, on the inside.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Equality Quotes

History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Government Quotes

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them all, and do it without shame. Because honor to party is above honor to themselves.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Religious Quotes

We have to be despised by somebody whom we regard as above us, or we are not happy; we have to have somebody to worship and envy,or we cannot be content. In America we manifest this in all the ancient and customary ways. In public we scoff at titles and hereditary privilege, but privately we hanker after them, and when we get a chance we buy them for cash and a daughter.

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In German, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has

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The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it.

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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn

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It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pursuit Of Happiness Quotes , Important Quotes

Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Entrepreneur Quotes