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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes
- It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes
- Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes
- It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes
- We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes
- The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Failure Quotes
- Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes