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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes
- God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Wen you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy sand ven he go to the end of the alphabet, it's a matter of taste.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation, To puff and look important and to say:- 'Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you, We will therefore pay you cash to go away.'
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Temptation Quotes
- Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , War Quotes
- I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes
- You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes
- I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes