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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.
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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes
- A true sonnet goes eight lines and then takes a turn for better or worse and goes six or eight lines more.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes
- I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.
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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes
- I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes