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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes
- In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
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Tags : Franz Kafka Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fighting Quotes
- Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.
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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The superfluous, a very necessary thing.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.
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Tags : Adele Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hater Quotes
- It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes
- General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- ... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes
- Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes
- The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes