Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

All art is quite useless.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Prayer Quotes

The Secretary, working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next morning, was informed that a youth waited in the hall who gave the name of Sloppy. The footman who communicated this intelligence made a decent pause before uttering the name, to express that it was forced on his reluctance by the youth in question, and that if the youth had had the good sense and good taste to inherit some other name it would have spared the feelings of him the bearer.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes