Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes, Funny Quotes, Reading Quotes

Many readers judge of the power of a book by the shock it gives their feelings - as some savage tribes determine the power of muskets by their recoil; that being considered best which fairly prostrates the purchaser.

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reading Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Food Quotes

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

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Tags : A. A. Milne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

All generalizations are false, including this one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes