Confucius Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

5 years ago

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abba Eban Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes