Voltaire Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Army Quotes

There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes