Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Home Quotes

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Riches are for spending.

5 years ago

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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.

5 years ago

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

6 years ago

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Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes