Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.

5 years ago

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sorry Quotes

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes

Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes

Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes