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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
- ... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes
- When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.
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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes
- The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
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Tags : Adi Da Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes
- I buy expensive suits - they just look cheap on me.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- God gives us our relatives – thank God we can choose our friends.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Be excellent and party on dudes.
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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes