Walt Whitman Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

5 years ago

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

5 years ago

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

5 years ago

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes