Leo Tolstoy Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uplifting Quotes

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes