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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes
- A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to bite them.
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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- " ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I have insecurities of course, but I don't hang out with anyone who points them out to me.
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Tags : Adele Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hater Quotes
- That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes
- Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes
- Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes