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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I hate women because they always know where things are.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes
- As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Prayer Quotes
- I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes