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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.
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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- God created sex. Priests created marriage.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- ...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive
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Tags : Adriana Lima Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes
- Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.
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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Army Quotes
- Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- ... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The Secretary, working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next morning, was informed that a youth waited in the hall who gave the name of Sloppy. The footman who communicated this intelligence made a decent pause before uttering the name, to express that it was forced on his reluctance by the youth in question, and that if the youth had had the good sense and good taste to inherit some other name it would have spared the feelings of him the bearer.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes
- Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes