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Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes
957
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
5 years ago
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A. Whitney Brown Quotes
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'Tis a superstition to insist on a special diet. All is made at last of the same chemical atoms.
5 years ago
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Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5 years ago
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Alan Dundes Quotes
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PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
5 years ago
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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It's your money. You paid for it.
5 years ago
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George W. Bush Quotes
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Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.
5 years ago
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George Bernard Shaw Quotes
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It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
5 years ago
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Charles Dickens Quotes
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Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
5 years ago
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Voltaire Quotes
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I drink to make other people more interesting.
5 years ago
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Ernest Hemingway Quotes
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Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.
5 years ago
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Charles Dickens Quotes
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All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
5 years ago
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Albert Einstein Quotes
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The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.
5 years ago
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George Bernard Shaw Quotes
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It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
5 years ago
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Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
5 years ago
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Anton Chekhov Quotes
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Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.
5 years ago
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes
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