Al Capone Quotes, Funny Quotes, Running Quotes

My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going to stay that way.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Art Quotes

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

It comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry, the greater the amount of violence and vagabondism; for in ancient days those two amusements, combining a wholesome excitement with a promising means of repairing shattered fortunes, were at once the ennobling pursuit and the healthful recreation of the Quality of this land.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work's the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes