Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Whatever advice you give, be short.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jealousy Quotes

Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , Art Quotes

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

If a student takes the whole series of my folklore courses including the graduate seminars, he or she should learn something about fieldwork, something about bibliography, something about how to carry out library research, and something about how to publish that research.

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fine Quotes

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes