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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Hatred is blind, as well as love.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.
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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes
- What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Novelists Quotes
- The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes
- The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- "Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes