Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one.

5 years ago

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

5 years ago

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wire Quotes

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

5 years ago

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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes