Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, People Quotes

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

"The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

My best training came from my father.

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

No sane man will dance.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The covers of this book are too far apart.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Farewell, fair cruelty.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes