Jane Austen Quotes, Funny Quotes, Inspiring Quotes

Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?

5 years ago

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cycling Quotes

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.

5 years ago

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nature Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes