Walt Whitman Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

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Tags : Theodore Kaczynski Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , Art Quotes

Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes