Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Cat Quotes

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they're going to stay that way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes