Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Home Quotes

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work's the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

5 years ago

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Tags : Jack London Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.

5 years ago

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

5 years ago

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nature Quotes

The English country-gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

No man knows he is young while he is young.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes