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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.
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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Farewell, fair cruelty.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It's a funny old world.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , World Quotes
- Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes
- All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Forever Quotes
- To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes