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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes
- How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes
- What I tell you three times is true.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- A woman is always buying something.
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Tags : Ovid Quotes , Funny Quotes , Buying Something Quotes
- Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes
- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes
- I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes