Mahatma Gandhi Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

All generalizations are false, including this one.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Riches are for spending.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , War Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Unser Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes