George W. Bush Quotes, Funny Quotes, Stupid Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it.

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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Funny Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.

5 years ago

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

No man knows he is young while he is young.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes

I drink to make other people more interesting.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The covers of this book are too far apart.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes