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Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes
957
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
5 years ago
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Adam Ferrara Quotes
, Funny Quotes
, Girl Quotes
There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.
5 years ago
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George Bernard Shaw Quotes
, Funny Quotes
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His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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, Money Quotes
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
4 years ago
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Albert Einstein Quotes
, Inspirational Quotes
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There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.
5 years ago
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Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes
, Funny Quotes
, Life Quotes
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
, Funny Quotes
, Running Quotes
A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.
5 years ago
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A. R. Gurney Quotes
, Funny Quotes
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They misunderestimated me.
5 years ago
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George W. Bush Quotes
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'
5 years ago
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Adam Ferrara Quotes
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I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.
5 years ago
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Al Oerter Quotes
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
5 years ago
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T. S. Eliot Quotes
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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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, Sarcastic Quotes
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
5 years ago
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Robert Frost Quotes
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Frailty, thy name is woman!
5 years ago
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William Shakespeare Quotes
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, Memorable Quotes
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
5 years ago
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
, Funny Quotes
, Humorous Quotes
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
5 years ago
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Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes
, Love Quotes
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I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
5 years ago
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Mark Twain Quotes
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Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.
5 years ago
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Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes
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Young men want to be faithful, and are not. Old men want to be faithless, and cannot.
5 years ago
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Oscar Wilde Quotes
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