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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.
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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Art Quotes
- To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of books is often mistaken for the assimilation and mastering of their contents.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- "Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes
- Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- What is a husband? He is the one who, with a touch, can bring back the starlight and glow of years long ago. At least he hopes he can - don't disappoint him.
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Tags : Alan Beck Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religion Quotes
- The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes