Winston Churchill Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You can't imagine what a pleasure this complete laziness is to me: not a thought in my brain- you might send a ball rolling through it!

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

The funniest people are the saddest once

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

Whatever advice you give, be short.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes